I had words from a “fan” today, (get a load of me, saying that I have such a thing as a fan, and I’ve near deserted my fan base, such as it is, but you know who you are….), and said fan told me he awaited a Queenie Blog discussing the election. Feeling less than vertical after the results of the election, (I think they used to have real ones, in non-revisionist history and once upon a time long ago), I told him I’d leave that to Margaret and Helen, heroes of mine, but I have this day and an inclination to just have a go at it. I’ve been threatening to go back to writing for some time now, and I suppose this could be it.
I’m not sure I really want to wade into the cesspool that is the election and the state of politics in the country. Anyone who knows me is well aware of my leanings, and anyone who is not quite familiar with me will soon surmise. All that being what it is, and my firm enough belief that nobody’s mind is likely to be changed about most anything at this precipitous point, I think I’ll just say to hell with it all, and relate as to how this feels to ME. A writer at times can be nothing but narcissistic, and I believe that to be a trait that comes quite easily to me. See…me, in two consecutive sentences, now three.
But this ME is also a citizen of the planet, and MITAKUYE OYASIN. We ARE all one, although very few are willing to admit or even consider that, as some shoulder their guns and proceed to kill the hell out of who ever is not of HIM or HER, just because the IT was different and therefore wrong. I do stand by the words of my grandmother I think it was, who said, “Some people just need killing.” It was probably more properly directed towards men in general, but I thought I’d just go a little more global with it. Some people just need to Go. Away.
In trying to figure which of the various assaults on humankind and the planet shreds me the most, it’s hard to pick a favorite. I am probably first and foremost a Lover of Nature, and from that springs so many aspects of my life. I think I gave up on Mankind, mostly Unkind, a few decades ago, though I have made efforts in making some kind of a difference in whatever it is I do. And there are just enough pinpoints of Light and Love out there to give one more day’s allegiance to Hope. I’ve written a piece on Hope before, (in the book), but there are too many days now when someone takes a big ax and cleaves just a little more off of the legs of HOPE. Hope may be wobbling lately – I know I am.
So that love of Nature aspect makes me particularly aware of the little thing called Climate Change, spawned by all the wonderful minions of Pollution, Corruption, Greed, Power, and why not throw in Sociopathy. There are surely more, but it’s off putting to think of them. It seems, IS, incredible to me that politics now trump Science, and scientists, (most of them having anything to do with a desperate or disparate opinion about Climate Change), are now viewed by so many with suspect eyes, and accused of malevolence and having an agenda. What? Are scientists suddenly sporting bank accounts in Switzerland, or wherever it is folks hide money these days? I am old enough to remember when “scientists” and “doctors” were paid to say that cigarettes were harmless, and what folderol to say anything bad about them. Perhaps that casts those voices of scientific factoids in dubious light, and sets a bad example. Maybe they were a precious paid few, like those who stand up today and say Balderdash to Climate Change. Could they possibly be affiliated somehow with Oil, Gas, Fracking, those sorts of things? I don’t know. But don’t I?
When I hear the findings of a science type guy who warned us against our poor behavior too many years ago, and we’ve since passed the benchmark of his perceived point of no return – and now he tells us to live our lives, be happy, love who you can, because we’ve just gone and done it, too late, see ya….well, what’s his angle supposed to be? He’s not offering a place on some space pod to the next planet, and is simply doing his scientist thing. Maybe he did something radical like write a book, but more likely an article. He’s not standing in government and pontificating about what a fraud and unknown factor it is, all Move Along Now, Nothing to See attitude, while beginning each response to a question with,”I’m not a scientist, but…..” Madness, I tell you. We’ve gone mad. Somebody has. You can’t make this stuff up.
In my best conspiracy theory voice I spout my silly tale about how I think we’re already hooked up with the aliens, the bad aliens, who have colluded with those in charge, and some of those SOBs surely must have another planet at the ready and transportation provided. How, HOW, can anyone who lives and hopefully still can breathe in their corner of the planet serve such evil as to eventually destroy their earth home? Does no one really believe it can’t happen? Or at least, not quite in THEIR lifetime, so screw it. And the kids and grandkids, unless they’ve booked passage already to Alturon, they’re just collateral damage. We’re quite familiar with collateral damage.
All of this is connected to education, for what a nation of degreed personnas we are producing to carry on for us, as long as that degree is D.A. – Dumb Ass. We’ve got a glut of them. They spout off about those programs that are on channels that USED to be educational….anyone watch The Learning Channel lately, or better yet, the History Channel? I used to love to watch the History Channel, because, guess…. I loved learning about History. Hadrian’s Wall, how the Vikings were horrible folks that killed the monks and women and children….(yeah, sounds familiar, just the names have been changed), watching the true madness that was Caligula….and I’m no great brainchild, I’m just curious and engaged. Now we’ve got Duck Dynasty and that ilk, and may I proudly say that it’s reported that our new Lt. Governor has said that God speaks to him through the characters on that show. Thank you, that’s a lovely design on that jacket…you say the sleeves go ALLLL way around and then tie in the back? Perfect.
I don’t know where to go with this. The list of evildoing is long, too long. One can rant for only so long, and the audience tires, gets bored, or as I have been informed before….depressed. Nobody likes a downer. Does Duck Dynasty really make anybody feel better? Or just better than them? Our bar has gotten frightfully low.
So the elections happened. Many, (the majority, they’d have me believe), are glowing with happiness and righteousness, as some of them said on a post today: “That’s how it is, we won, and if you don’t like it move out of the state.” Not put so nicely, either. My tribe? Well, we’re in mourning, thinking about the planet, schools, the health of fellow human beings, (maybe our own), our right to Just Be, and so many other things. No one I’ve had contact with is even angry. We’re just sad. Even Shock took a holiday. Nothing surprises us anymore, except EVERYTHING. I weary of trying to make a comeback, to make it be Right. And how does anyone, could anyone, think that my world view, people centric, animal loving, peaceful ways be Wrong? Am I back to my narcissism? There seems to be less and less of Live and Let Live. Nothing but Right and Wrong, and Different takes a back seat, if he gets on the bus at all. Or thrown under it.
There are exceptions. Same sex marriage has a foothold. But forget about your “rights” if you’re a woman. Nope, you’re just wrong, and that’s that. War? Religion? Enough already.
So I go into myself. I do Art. I write. I dare to publish. I am so melancholy about the things I didn’t do, or would have done differently. But that’s wasted energy, and all I have is Now, and whatever future there is. A guy got killed in New York yesterday when he got hit in the head because a worker above dropped a tape measure from his workbelt. All those storeys down, down and down, till it hit this poor guy, who had just taken off his hardhat, right in the head. Small target, BAM. Dead. Who wrote that script? What do you say about that? Sort of like the guy whose bedroom went into the sinkhole, and he was in his bed, and he went down hollering…down and down and down, till he wasn’t anymore. Fate plays strange tricks.
Maybe the rest of us are meant for a slow, strangling death by means we can’t yet imagine, or the plague of the day, or poisoned water, or the crazy with a gun,….fill in your own blanks. The point is, if I can even drum up a point, that time is ticking away, I’m weary of fighting stupidity raised by greed or just other generations of ignorance, or rising to the occasion fueled by Hope and Purpose, only to feel slapped down for my own delusional thinking – or apparently so. I grieve for those days when I believed I could really DO something, change something, make that difference. That I still believed love might happen. Some days I still do, but I don’t think about it much. Sort of like I still want to believe in Enlightenment. I am almost glad to be almost old.
The latest news and a chilly, wet day have made for an unsettling ambiance. The rain is good and wonderful and so much needed, but today it feels like cold tears. It’s been crying all day.
Loneliness walks around outside my house sometimes. I am not keen on inviting him in. Winter’s coming, and he might enjoy the fire, but he makes for poor company. I suppose he and Disappointment can go sit out in the Loafing Shed and tell sad stories and complain about the weather and politics. I’ll keep my own company, and try to entertain Contentment, if I can find him. Better turn off the TV. The news is a bummer, and anything enlightening is scarce. Sort of like Hope.
Peace, y’all.
Queenie Says 