I’ve been away for a while, for a multitude of reasons that don’t need going into here. And while I’ve been gone, the world has kept spinning and turning, in the way it always does. I am in a disgruntled state, despite my own declarations and intentions of living in some semblance of grace and gratitude and attempts at being in a good place. Why? Well, there are a lot of Whys, always are, but I am befuddled and beheadslammed as we, (as in the country “we”), prepare to go to what amounts to war with yet another nation. What, did we have an extra load of time and weapons we haven’t played with yet? Not enough tax dollars gone to war this week?
I’m sure any regular reader, (if there are any left while I disappear for too long these too many times), will know which way I lean in matters of state, church and politics. It’s all a sorry mess, and I semi apologize, only semi, for those who I am about to offend. The questions I want to ask go beyond affiliation with any particular party or line thereof, and I just want to know….. about war. About bombs. About death and destruction, and what defines crossing over the red line which has been getting attention of late. Or any damned line.
It is without question that chemical warfare is heinous. It is cowardly, evil, despicable…. there are any number of appropriate adjectives, all too terribly correct and usable. It seems a great deal of the world is at “war” these days, and we always have been, and I wish to holy hell (whatever that may be) that we could get over our pitiful human selves and our propensity for having to kill the “other” because they are of different colors, creeds, religions or whatever difference it is we get all hepped up about. (Or because we just want what they have because they have it and we don’t. There’s another essay.) Different doesn’t have to be wrong, it could just be different and let it go at that. And yes, I know, that is entirely too simplistic and innocent a belief system, and it doesn’t nearly support the war machine or gun manufacturers or even some preachers, whatever it is they preach. Call it childlike, but that would be just fine, for at least a child that has not been exposed to the manifesto of difference and hatred thereof is capable of such an open acceptance before it has been taught to hate. Yes, we do have to be instructed, or manipulated, into hating the different. We’re not born prejudiced, but like those little kids that used to appear on the sad talk shows dressed up in their pointy-hatted KKK costumes, we’re pretty quick learners.
So I’ve just been thinking: Why is this chemical warfare attack so much worse than the other kinds of wholesale slaughter that are inflicted on innocent humans being? No one is spared, I get that. Women and children and young and old and infirm – they’re all taken from their daily lives of just trying to exist or get along or feed their families. But just tell me, is that death more specific or wanton than the car bomb that kills and maims and ruins lives? I see children on busses taken out on their way to school, or mothers cradling their shattered babies, and they are just as dead. And the drone strikes seem to be fairly good at taking out innocent civilians, what we hear about them. Are their lives less collateral (or just more) because they died in a likewise unmanned attack that was for some more specific reason? Whoever pushed the button was equally invisible, and who has Right on their side? I’m not sure I can equate the horror of a chemical bomb as any more horrific than body parts splayed and sprayed across a marketplace, blown to smithereens. Everybody’s dead, or ruined in one way or two others. I don’t get it, but then, I don’t get a lot of things.
Why are we pursuing justice for these, when atrocities against mankind, (and womankind and childkind) are everywhere for the picking. Don’t like the Middle East? Well, seems there are plenty to defend in Africa. Or in the Amazon. Or, gasp, North Korea, China, and those Ruskies are at it again. I’m not even going to bring up the specter of oil, (though I just did), because it’s just too easy to connect the dots. It seems we can only protect and defend so many, and only if…… sigh. And all the while, we don’t protect and defend our own citizens. And don’t get me started on the environment, because before too very long, we won’t be caring about oil so much, when we’re trying to find a little bit of water to drink, or some air to breathe. Or food that doesn’t poison us – if the water and air hasn’t taken us first. It’s madness, all of it, and in the end, we have only one planet. And we’re not very good at sharing it, or caring for it. We don’t seem to deserve it. And you know what they say – you get what you deserve. Do we? Did the victims of chemical warfare get what they deserved? Justice isn’t just blind – it’s among the casualties.
I’m just tired of war. I’m tired of death. I’m tired of politicians and liars. I’m tired of greedy sons of bitches for whom enough is never enough. I’d like for them to get a load of my enough, or the enough of some native peoples in the Amazon who just want to feed their families and be left to their lives… not to mention our own Native Americans who are having their lands raped, pillaged and plundered yet again because, once again, they’re just in the way.
I don’t understand what we’re fighting for. I don’t understand why. And how we are all expendable, especially if we’re in somebody’s way. Somebody bigger and meaner, or with a bigger gun, or more of them. I think we’re all collateral damage, along with humanity and compassion. I know, not ALL of us, but there are enough of the “thems” that just keep taking us out, because: (insert belief system here.)
I’m really not a negative person. I love life. I love art, and animals, and my friends, my mother and my planet, all not necessarily in that order, and a lot of other wonderful things. I miss civility. I miss honor. I know it’s out there – that’s why I love my friends, for they possess it. But I feel powerless against this rage of hatred, bigotry and righteous bullying and murder in the name of, what… I can’t even put a name on it, for it’s so distorted. But we’re told it’s worth going to war over – again and still. For what?
Sorry for the rant. Or whatever it was. This is supposed to be a happy, funny place. I don’t feel like joking right now. Next time. I hope. Thank you for listening. I’m going to water my garden and listen to the birds, and hope for rain.
Queenie Says 