What Would Queenie Do?

Egads.  Look what I’ve gone and written. Now there’s the possibility that someone could be thinking I’m getting awfully big for my britches, (and danged if my jeans aren’t WAY too tight after the uh, holiday season – whoopee), and that I’m getting close to thinking that I’m some holy woman….. Well, we ARE all holy, and maybe some of us holier than others, but I assure you it’s not really something to which I aspire – exactly.  I think Spiritual would be fine.  That holy business can get you in some deep stuff sometimes, and it just seems like it’s looking for trouble too often, or having to defend itself from the same…. pre-emptively, most likely, these days…. but I digress.  (I do that a lot.)

I was in the middle of a missive to a good friend a while ago, describing the latest bit of events going on in and around my life lately, and here’s what happened.  I was telling her about how my ACTIONS had changed regarding dealing with one thing in particular –  how I’d spent some time considering what was niggling at me, and how I would handle it, and then Ta DAH, handle it I did.  And when I thought about how I had done it, (suffice it to say that it was just very different behavior than what I have exhibited for, say, most of the entirety of my life, with only flashes of enlightenment splashed hither and yon), that it felt if not exactly good, but right to do it.  How odd, or just different, and then it was so obvious – it was Queenie.  Now of course that will sound odd in itself because it is indeed Queenie who has been writing here of late, so why would I behave any differently than what I preach?  I suppose even Queenie has an “alter ego” who may at some times be overrun with cooties of doubt.  It’s not a very pleasant situation, but quite human I understand.  But you can’t just keep living there.  If you stay in Doubt too long, you might find you’ve grown roots and attached yourself to an entirely unpleasant reality, and then there you are.  Getting unstuck can be a liberating experience for sure, but sometimes it comes with a hell of a whiplash if it happens suddenly.  Even if it might just need to happen suddenly.  Whack.  Wham.  Zap.  It’s very common, I’m sad to report.  Why, of course even Queenie has had experience in that department…. (part of earning her Bona Fides), and here we are again.

So why not make it just a simple thing to ask, in terms of what behavior might be advised and encouraged to deal with some particular situation or other:  What would Queenie do?  Does that sound entirely blasphemous?  Have I stepped over the line?  Good, I was hoping you’d say that.  It helps to know your audience.  So here’s the why of it:

Queenie simply just DOES NOT HAVE THE TIME for tomfoolery.  Or jackfoolery or jimfoolery or… nevermind.  Meaning that there is just no reason to put up with – oh what’s the word – let’s just say crap, anymore.  (Other than what we must contend with as doled out by the government – another discourse for another post coming soon to a blog near you.)  I am finding out, or more to the point, rediscovering, that I am quite fine company, and I needn’t squander myself on those who, let’s say, don’t appreciate my finer qualities, and how much better it feels to be amongst those who do, (and might perhaps let just a few of the lesser ones slide – at least occasionally.)  I simply desire to be adored, but so should we all.  We deserve nothing less than to be adored, but I must say that to deserve such a wondrous state we are RESPONSIBLE for actually BEING that sort of creature that deserves such a blissful state. Worthy of adoredness.  A quality human of the best aspects of the species.  We can all aspire to that, and wouldn’t it be a wonderful world?

But the upshot of all this is that I pretty much trust Queenie.  And  isn’t it such a positive feeling then, to trust oneself?  We might not ever be able to comprehend it when someone in whom we’ve placed our trust betrays it, for any number of unfathomable reasons, but we damn well ought to be able to trust ourselves.  It really is an unnerving, uncomfortable place to be – if you can’t even trust YOURSELF.  Don’t want to live there, although I think I paid rent at that sorry place for too long a time.

So perhaps, in NewAgeSpeak, what I know of it, Queenie is my higher self, capable of clearer thinking, responsible behavior –  able to leap tall buildings at a single bound.  Not a bad thing.  And earlier I stood almost in awe, or maybe finally in respect, of my own self that had taken over the controls, and led myself through the behavior that allowed me, encouraged me, to speak my truth.  No harm intended, just the facts, ma’am.  And what an enlightening moment.  Imagine the possibilities of “Getting It” at some astounding younger age, living more of the life we’re given under the guidance of our own clear, protective and trustworthy thinking.  It’s great being a Late Bloomer – better to have bloomed late than never at all – but none of us need to lament those years spent in befuddled, rudderless lives lived in doubt and “less than” thinking.  It just takes what it takes to get us to where we are, and no matter what high priced tribute we pay to the past or the future, we are indeed living in the NOW.  It almost feels like the wonder I felt when I finally figured out how to do Geometry and Algebra, and prove those theorems and balance those equations and figure out what the hell X was.  (For a right-brained child, it seemed surely a miracle.)  Both events, both long ago and near as the room next to me brought out a grateful Wow.  So THIS is how you do it.  This is how it feels.  Not bad at all.  In fact, I rather like it.  Queenie Rocks.

So I wish us all more Wow Moments as we move Forward into our new lives, or even if you’re totally happy as the proverbial clam in the life which you now inhabit.  Yes, yes, it’s the journey indeed, and the party never ends.  Well, I hear it shifts venues big time at some point, but NOW is what we have, ladies and gentlemen.  So let’s all give it a go, and show up, and here’s to straight backbones and the honor system.  Full speed ahead. Onward, still and again.  Yahoo.


6 Responses to “What Would Queenie Do?”

  1. I mentioned to someone just yesterday, that it might be a good idea for me to come up with another adjective other than “Wow!” Albeit, there is always much to be wowed about, and it even feels good to say it!
    So….the first email I read this morning was from MC, asking if I had read your latest blog? I opened it up, and just printed it out to take with me this morning. I was going with a girlfriend (a 30 minute drive) to an appt. with an atty.
    –I’m too tired to write much — suffice it to say that your writings here provided us with a Wow moment! Before we left the house, my husband offered us some of the exact messages, then as we were almost done reading it (I was reading out loud) he called, and while on speakerphone, he offered a few more wisdoms to take with us, almost verbatim to a couple more of yours here!
    The Universe was certainly trying to get several messages across! So, thanks for helping the Universe out; you did your job very well! Synchronicity is AWESOME!
    About getting it at a younger age; I have been sharing that same thought with my daughter for several years now!
    Are you willing to share the way in which you’ve been practicing not squandering yourself on/with those select others that are on a different path?
    I’m working on issues in that area, and am still finding the removing of myself to be a touch difficult. It’s touchy to “speak our truths, with no harm intended, just stating the facts.” A fine line, but a dance we’ll all benefit from practicing.

    Keep practicing that leaping in single bounds, and might I suggest also, the soaring with Eagles?!
    You do rock, Queenie!
    I adore you!!

    • queeniesays Says:

      It is all truly a wonderment, isn’t it? And I’m finding out more and more that there IS a power, a thing, a force… (May the Force be with you), the Universe, god goddess higher self – whatever we wish to call it – that does attempt to tap us on the shoulder, if not downright grab us and shake us sometimes. But too often we’re caught up in the “news,” or the distraction of the moment, and the volume’s up way too loud, or we’re just too busy, or here’s one: We might just be too scared to listen. Change? Are you serious? Admit we’re walking down a dangerous, unrewarding, or a very dark path, and we have to actually DO something about it? No, no thank you, move along now.

      Oh Thank You, sweet friend, for the adoration. Love, in any form, is not taken lightly, or for granted. And too often it is. And yes, the Truth Dance is a difficult one, easy to trip over yourself (or the others in attendance) and fall down with all your pretty intentions spilled over the dance floor. And again, too often, the one to whom we need to be addressing that truth is, ahem, our very own selves. Or our targeted audience, despite those best intentions, wants absolutely nothing to do with it, and not even a Thank You Very Much. Hard hard hard. Oh, do I see more Late Bloomers in cultivation? It’s the great Dance of Life, and even though there are ever so many who are capable of dispensing the Truth, with vast amounts of experience and Bona Fides under their corsets, there are still so many who must fall down on their very own…. and hasn’t it always been that way? Alas, I believe so, and there is a hallmark of the human experience.

      So dear readers, if you don’t want to listen to those of us who offer up a bit of wizened experience, at least give yourselves the chance to listen to that inner voice that you DO have, even though it might be entirely a stranger to you. May I say I just did that, feeling all unsettled and uncomfortable about something, and ACTED on that feeling, and I do believe I just saved myself from a very negative experience. This Serendipity and Synchronicity thing is real, and a very valuable gift and tool. Use it wisely and with respect.

      Now I think I’ll get about about this soaring with Eagles stuff. Oh, and adoration gratefully returned.

  2. I am printing this blog and putting it in my journal to reread and remember! Thanks for so eloquently documenting this transformation because I have RECENTLY (as in last week) experienced the same thing. I have struggled with standing up for myself and speaking my truth for my entire life. In fact, just before Christmas I called Kathy (TheQueen) to lament to her that I really feel like I am hopeless…that I am just NEVER going to be able to do this. I’ve read all the books, I’ve talked the talk but I just couldn’t seem to walk the walk. Then all of a sudden I was presented with not one but two opportunities and I handled them effortlessly. WOW! Did that feel GOOD! I think I’m still on the high from that experience. Then low and behold something else started happening right after those experiences…When faced with a situation that usually would elicit much worry and fear on my part…I felt none of that. Instead I felt an overwhelming sense of calm and could almost hear my higher-self saying “All is well, this is not what it appears and not something you need to worry about. All will be well.” And then miracle of miracles, I LISTENED. In the past I would have dismissed the sound of her voice, I would have instead focused on the fear and worry. I would have called up my friends and hashed over the feared outcome. But I did none of that. A TOTALLY new behavior for me. And after all this time, it didn’t even seem weird to me to be acting so differently. In fact it seemed so NATURAL and normal. How cool is that? I CAN trust myself. I’m NOT hopeless after all. Amazing!!

    I feel like this year is going to be fabulous. Like we are all taking giants strides on our paths. It is so very exciting.

    I am glad to have discovered your blog and this other side to you, “Lexilu”. I look forward to sharing this journey, getting to know you and hopefully meeting in person one of these days.

    Off to soar…

    • queeniesays Says:

      And YOU have no idea how much this means to ME. Like you, I have spouted all this “stuff” for years, known it, believed it, been able to tell others how they should do it, but I can’t say I did much of a credible job of doing it myself… until lately. Until the Big Shift, The Happening, whatever you want to call it. When I was finally able to DO the thing I could not do. (Thank you Eleanor Roosevelt – one of the most remarkable women to ever visit the planet.) Isn’t it positively amazing – that feeling after you DO it? Such a rightness, such a peace. I do believe we were having concurrent experiences. I have lived with Fear for so long, touting the virtues of Truth and an honest life, but I have fallen far short of living one. Until now. Facing decisions, change, I would seemingly dwell only on all the horrible things that could come of it, serving Fear instead of honoring Truth and possibilities of a positive outcome. What a steaming pile! (Pardon my word picture.) Even with all that’s happened, and a world that seems hellbent on destroying itself with the aiding and abetting of its human inhabitants, I look forward to what “might” happen as a wondrous adventure with fabulous, or at least rewarding, outcomes, rather than the gloom and doom and the very worst of all possible scenarios in my imagination. What a CHANGE, and a change in my ACTIONS, and didn’t it feel GOOD! And Brava for you, too!

      So I applaud you, and us, for our new behavior, and we truly are Sisters on the Path. I think, too, that wonderful adventures are ahead, (see the response to your other comment), and so much FUN. Queenie does love Fun.

      But I thank you, so much, for taking the time to relate this, for this is the difference I wish to make. To touch people, to communicate, to relate, to share the journey, to support another human being on her path…. to share that path. This is my desire: to make a difference. And I seem to be doing it, in several arenas even. It’s about time, and so much seems to be about Time. So hard not to be sad about all I did before, (or DIDN’T!), and the What Ifs, but No Time for that, really. Just time to get on with it, righteously.

      I will be seeing you down the path, no doubt. And I bet there will be DANCING involved!

      In gratitude, Queenie

  3. Dear Queenie,

    You call it being unable to tolerate tom, jim, or jack foolery. I have come to call it having a minimal bull shit quotient. Twice divorced, I realized that I will be utterly unable to abide or tolerate or overlook or see past a great number of things. One day it hit me, I may never love a man again! The horror of that thought was very very short lived. It occurred to me that I am doing just fine. I no longer hear him whining like a baby bird with its head thrown back and mouth wide open, “What are we having for supper?” No more being the party responsible for his mother’s birthday presents. No more getting up early to fix his lunch when I have to leave before he does each day. No more hustling to fix supper when he gets home from work before I do. No more juggling the bills, and being the voice of reason and responsibility trying to talk financial sense to someone dead set on crashing the money train. No more turning myself inside out and running ragged to make HIS world turn on a perfect axis, while he never is appreciative and is always demanding more!

    No ma’am. No sir. That’s enough. If Captain Cool Breeze comes along and he wants to carry me around on a satin pillow, and tell me how precious and tiny I am, and make my interests his interests, then perhaps I will deign to accompany him to the Fish Fry twice per month for a big plate of catfish. Perhaps I will allow him to change the oil in my car and change the belt on the lawn mower. If he is very good, I will let him help me build some fences and a barn. If he’s not going to be fun, cheerful, and living to make me smile, then he can get lost. I ain’t taking no more fellers to raise and spoil. No way, Jose. I want to have some fun when I want to have it, and I want to be left the hell alone when I want to be alone.

    They’re not lining up down the road and around the corner to put in an application for the position, but that’s just fine. Living alone has much to recommend it. Bring able to put your hands on something because no one has tampered with it or moved it is a wonderful thing. Not having someone use up the last of the ketchup or soap without putting it on the shopping list is a wonderful thing.

    The way I see it is that life, in general, throws enough twists and turns my way. I only want people around who are going to be pleasant, kind, compassionate, fun, and helpful. I don’t need anybody peeing on my blanket or putting a turd in my punch bowl.

    I set out to write a comment, not a dissertation. Forgive me, Queenie

    • queeniesays Says:

      I appreciate all your comments, and officially designate you as my backup should the need ever arise! There are quite a few of us “Sisters of Experience,” and while that’s comforting, it’s a bit unnerving. I’ve had more than one ask me if we weren’t married to/dating the same guy. So much for Universal Sisterhood Experience, and just a little sad. But we’re still here, and danged if we aren’t one fine bunch. Perhaps an acquired taste, but then perhaps not. Here’s to keeping on keeping on.

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