Oh no, not another Chick Movie inspiration….

Yes,  yet another line from a chick movie.  I’m sorry, again, what can I say?  But some of them are just so damned pithy and on point.

He to She: How wonderful that I am not intimidated by your brilliance. (Just for the record, from Something’s Got to Give, one of my favorites, for obvious reasons if you’ve seen it.)

It’s hard to go on from here without sounding just downright cocky… (introduction of a most masculine word to describe something so forthright, so to speak, as cockiness.  Surely there must be a better word.)  And I don’t mean to sound holier than, smarter than, or more anything than.  But I suppose in some arenas I consider myself a fairly competent cookie, although in others I have found myself at the other end of the spectrum that might have been the example for the phrase:  That’s how the cookie crumbles.  So here’s where I have to find comfort in dealing with my opinion of myself, which perhaps should be, in the end, more important than anyone else’s, but without appearing overbearing and ego driven.  I wish to offer up what I perceive as my greatest talents and gifts, and then proceed to be HUMBLE about it all.  Does that make sense?  Perhaps that is where this Gratitude thing comes in – to be grateful for our gifts – to whatever deity or source we honor, instead of thinking we are solely responsible for our wonderfulness.  If we are truly wonderful, somebody taught us well, or opened a door, or made it be OK for us to be who we are.  If we are self-made geniuses, well, I don’t know who we thank, but even if we have ourselves to thank for our own enlightenment, then surely, somewhere, somebody lit a candle for us.

I have on occasion pondered the words in a particular (uh, chick) song from a few years back: Are you strong enough to be my man? I believe that was Miz Sheryl Crow.  She’s written more than a few interesting lyrics, and I keep getting surprised at how much I’ve identified with them at different times of my life.  And at times I’ve found her, and likewise myself, to be just damned pissed off about it all.  To date, she’s written many more songs about it than I have, and is actually good at it, but I’ve had my moments – considering the source.  (I was rather dubiously introduced at my last attempt to sing and play guitar – at the same time mind you – in front of people, as:  Better Than Nothing.  If there’s any fainter praise, I’m not sure what it could be.)  What is that terrible country song….oh, there are so many of them…. It’s Hard to be Humble.  Well, it’s not – for some.  And for others it’s so much more ingrained to be Insecure.  And, trust me on this, Insecurity is a poor companion – take him off your guest list and don’t invite him to your party.  But once you’ve made his acquaintance, and he’s moved in with all his furniture you don’t like, he’s terribly hard to get rid of.  After a while you might get brainwashed.  If you’re insecure enough to have (or keep) him around in the first place, you might even listen to the SOB.  What’s worse is if you start to BELIEVE him.  Then you’ve got an even bigger problem.

So this is where I got the connection with Sheryl Crow those many years ago.  I think she got the short end with some affair or other, and after a while she finally got it together that she’d had quite enough.  “You’re my favorite mistake.”  “You don’t being me anything but down.”  Ha HA!  Pissed off, I guarantee.  But, and here’s the clinker – down deep, (really deep – go get the flashlight) – who we’re really pissed off at is our own selves.  For not pulling the red flags out of our eyes in a sufficient amount of time.  Or perhaps coming back for more…. Oh, sir, may I have another?  Why, of course.  Whack! I mean, after a while, even our friends are rolling their eyes, though of course they love us dearly.  This is when it gets not nearly as fun and as easily mended and happily ended as in those chick movies.  Some of these guys, (and I have to say gals, too – equal opportunity, remember?), just are not, EVER, going to get it.  They are JUST FINE, thank you very much, and it’s us, not them, blah blah blah.  But here’s the other clinker:  Likely or not, we’ve been saying the same thing about ourselves and their bad ass character.  Surely it is They.  Surely not US.  We, of the Driven Snow Clan.  Oh dear oh dear.

It’s another of those platitudes, or pearls, stated by many now:  We don’t know that we don’t know.  (Hell, even Rumsfeld had a go with that one, and it wasn’t pretty.)  This is where we have to shine that light on our own selves, and take that inventory, and find out that we’ve been fishing with no bait.  But here’s where Choice comes in, Ta Dah!  And we can decide to be Responsible for our own lives, and find a program to get with.  There are, fortunately, many.  There is help everywhere, if we’re willing to ask, or look for it after we’ve pulled the red flags from our eyeballs, or taken off our designer blinders – whichever might apply.

I am so absolutely ready to concentrate on ME for a goodly while, and sign up for all the courses therein.  I had an absolutely swell time at a recent gathering where I more or less took myself out of the picture, and viewed the entire goings on as if at another movie.  Very interesting to observe my own “new” behavior, from that detached perspective that took me away from a “personal” reaction to others’ behavior.  Oh NO…. Don’t tell me I’ve finally gotten to Don’t Take it Personally! I have been of the school that jumps up and says:  Dammit, it IS personal.  And maybe it is.  Perhaps “judgment” should be reserved for case by case analysis.  But it was true that interactions with people that previously would have been taken as a, uh, personal slight, were rather observed with the reaction of:  How Interesting.  You just don’t know what your antagonists are going through, but you sure don’t have to drink the same Kool-Aid to converse with them.  Or understand them.  Or HEAL them!  Queenie states here and now that she intends to take on no more “Projects,” unless they might be of the four-legged, furry variety.  We may be looking for Bona Fides, BUT, the important thing to not forget is that I’m still working on my own!  If all this is true about the Law of Attraction and You Get What You Ask For, then Responsibility goes up a whole ‘nother notch.  Be careful, indeed.

And so, to get back to where I started with this collection of thoughts.  And Sheryl Crow and that quite fabulous character in the movie.  While I am quite content in being with my own company these days, (and those good friends), about the last thing I’m craving is the company of any and all varieties of Insecure people.  Those who would fudge the truth, embellish their curriculum vitae to impress anyone else, (else they might begin to believe their own BS after a sufficient while – I’ve seen it happen), or whatever form of boorish behavior follows such actions.  Sometimes it’s expressed in such a manner as to make their targets smaller so that they may appear bigger, usually in their own eyes.  Isn’t that sad?  And sadder still for the “victims” who take their criticism to heart, thinking that the one in whom they place their faith, and TRUST, would certainly not be the one who would mislead them in such important matters.  A little bit of implied weakness and fault, and we are reduced to our proper places, and stay there!  If you’re hearing or living anything resembling this – time to take stock of your situation, and find another path, or figure out that you can walk YOUR path without such disagreeable company.

So yes, to hear such words from someone we care about, (or maybe would like to), that he or she is of such good stuff as not to be intimidated by our brilliance….  Egad, are those not beautiful words?  I wish my brilliance to be recognized and accepted, and not booby-trapped or dismissed as a trifle, or something to be deflated.  I wish to be held in high esteem, but the first one that has to do that is ME, and not in some narcissistic egomaniacal way.  (Give those Narcissists wide berth, folks.  They are not pleasant or trustworthy company.)  I wish to be proud of me, so that others may respect me, and whatever talents I may possess.  And I wish to respect myself for a life well lived, having hurt no one.  It may well be impossible to get through life without hurting anyone, but I think we owe it to each other to at least TRY.  There are indeed some fine lines to be drawn in living these lives we’ve been given, but if we ride with Integrity, then we’ve a pretty fair chance of being stellar examples of humanity.

One last thought, and we’re back to Gratitude.  Word has it that when we attain Enlightenment, we will actually be able to express that gratitude regarding those persons or events which were involved in our process.  Fairly heady thinking, no? Why, thank you, so very much, for that cleaver you embedded in my own personal heart.  I really needed that. Well, the interesting news flash is that maybe we did.  Maybe it just takes what it takes till we get it.  And some of us, them, whoever, never will.  They are, indeed, the sad cases.  We may be sad for a while, while we learn, but I think they will be sad, (or too far gone to know better), for the rest of their lives.  I’m willing to light a candle for them, but not to buy the candle factory.

I’m not sure if this piece ended up where I thought it would go, but here it is, and here we are.  Sometimes I feel as though I say the same things over and over, but maybe we need to hear it eighteen different ways before something clicks.  Maybe I’m the one who needs to hear it, and this is number nineteen for me.  It’s all about walking my talk, and luckily I just bought some new shoes, so I’m ready to hit the trail.  I’m fairly well certain that there’s a fabulous vista up over that next hill, and no other way to get there than step after step.


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